So… What Do You Like to Do?
The Morning That Started It All
One Thursday morning, I found myself standing in front of a parking meter in a small town CA wondering, why am I even trying to pay this? Then it hit me — I forgot my wallet. Because of course I did. In the four-pound “purse” I lug around, I somehow skipped the one thing that actually mattered. Cue the call to my husband to confirm it’s sitting at home — as if I go places. Ha!
Coffee, Conversation, and a Laptop-Free Zone
Thankfully, my friend walked out with a handful of change — sweet, sweet soul. She saved me from the Man’s grip on my mind for the next two hours while we drank coffee inside this plant-and-rope-themed coffee shop.
I’d asked her to coffee to break up our usual “Groundhog Day” routine. She thankfully agreed to my side quest, and off we went to rescue our Thursday from the mundane. I ordered my oat milk coffee (ignoring the fact that none of the options were sugar-free.. California… am I right?) and we sat at the very front — a laptop-free zone, apparently. Questionable, since everyone around us had laptops. Maybe they reserve that table for people who actually want to talk. If so… genius.
When Small Talk Turns Real
We started with the usual pleasantries. There’s an age gap between us, so we don’t share the same daily chaos, but we get each other. She’s been where I am; I’m in it. Eventually, the conversation took a turn — no more “how’s your week,” we were suddenly in the deep end.
The Question That Stops Me Cold
Then came the question.
“Well… what do you like to do?”
And just like that, my throat tightened. Tears filled my eyes — not enough to fall (can you imagine?), but enough to feel ridiculous. Every time someone asks me that question, I swear I look like a total lunatic. My brain starts running through every possible response:
Do People Actually Know the Answer?
Do people actually have an answer to this?
Why don’t I know mine?
Is “sitting” an appropriate answer?
Do people just… figure this out early in life?
She’s waiting for an answer. I should have said something 10 seconds ago. Why does this question make me tear up? That’s weird. I’m weird.
“I’m not sure I know that answer,” I finally say — which, ironically, only I could answer, and yet… I can’t.
Am I alone in this? When do people actually figure that out — what they like to do? Maybe that’s what free will feels like. Do I even have that? Have I ever?
When Survival Becomes the Hobby
Growing up, the plan was simple: finish high school, go to college. I didn’t really have hobbies. It was work and boys (I know… gross. Enter therapist). Then college came, and life got real. I had a baby at 21, so the answer to what do you like to do became simple: survive. My hobbies were food on the table, healthcare, and shoes for my kid.
Fast Forward to Now
Fast forward to now: I have a husband, a best friend I birthed (wild), and a two-year-old little dude who’s taking me back in time 19 years. But that question? Still unanswered.
Maybe That’s the Point
Maybe that’s the thing, though. Maybe the point isn’t to have the answer — it’s to finally start asking it. Finding it.
Because for the first time, life isn’t just about surviving. It’s about figuring out what it means to live.
And maybe that starts right here — with a cup of oat milk coffee, a good friend, and a laptop free table.
